America Moves on.

It's taken 45 years, but it's worth it. In more ways than one.

What Could Be Worse than an Anusburger?

She could have been eating a hot dog? Read carefully.

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(A couple of tasteful excerpts, just in case ABC takes the article offline.)

[CKE Restaurants Inc., t]he parent company of the Carl's Jr. and Hardee's fast food chains sued rival Jack In The Box Inc. on Friday to stop TV ads that it says suggest Carl's Jr. and Hardee's use cow anus to make Angus beef hamburgers.

CKE is known for running controversial ads for its chains, including one featuring a scantily clad Paris Hilton washing a car while eating a burger.

Apologies, Schmapologies… awww, benny…

The depressing part of the story is that it took Hugo Chaves to point out the obvious.

China: Porn Sparks Panda Baby Boom in China, Sez MSNBC. Oh, Yeah?

In 2002, CNN reported that "China is flicking on sex videos, and not Viagra, to rouse the dreary desires of captive male giant pandas who are famously indifferent to female overtures". Now, five years later, MSNBC claims that "[p]orn sparks panda baby boom in China".

I don't get it. I mean, don't male pandas have opposing thumbs too?

Celtics on a New Winning Streak! Go, Danny, Go!

... to Secaucus...

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The Celtics had been on a roll before the All-Star Game weekend. The hiatus, however, seemed to take the wind out of their sails, as they promptly went on to lose four straight games after the break.

Not to worry, they are on track again, with yet another one-game winning streak, this time against the Houston Rockets. The Texas powerhouse started a star-studded lineup including future US president Shane Battier, perennial all-star and defensive immortal Dikembe Mutombo, and the second 100 million dollar man, Juwan Howard. The other two starters were solid citizens Bonzi Wells and Rafer Alston.

......

Dikembe Mutombo? Juwan Howard? And we won without Larry? Kevin? Robert?

The Celtics are on fire.

As If You Needed a Reminder that Commuting Is the Same the World Over

This should lay to rest any thought that Japanese commuter trains are unique.

Okay, I don't think we would have said that. But still...

Psychics 'hired to find Bin Laden'

Nnnhhhh.